Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Fairy Queen


Over hill, over dale,
Thorough bush, thorough brier,
Over park, over pale,
Thorough flood, thorough fire,
I do wander every where,
Swifter than the moone's sphere;
And I serve the fairy queen,
To dew her orbs upon the green:
The cowslips tall her pensioners be;
In their gold coats spots you see;
Those be rubies, fairy favours,
In their freckles live their savours:
I must go seek some dew-drops here,
And hang a pearl in every cowslip's ear.
Farewell, thou lob of spirits: I'll be gone:
Our queen and all her elves come here anon.

A Midsummer-Night's Dream (2.1.2-17)

I never cease to marvel at the human ability to seek out and create beauty during traumatic times.  This bridal shawl, strung with around four hundred glistening glass beads, became an emotional life raft for me over April as malevolence took root in my home and I found myself hurtling down a rabbit hole into an eerie Alice In Wonderland world where nothing felt as it should.  And however much I felt the panic rising within me I was determined to savour the pleasures of April.  I observed the prettiness of wild primroses, violets and cowslips together with the cheeriness of cultivated tulips but, just as the first coffee of the morning had lost its flavour, I just could not feel them.  Come the month of May, however, I will be given a new lease of life.  Once my husband leaves our home there will be fewer lies, threats and less manipulation. I will be in the constant company of my three precious children. I have the gift of a new life ahead and I feel so very blessed.

Shawl: Mustardseed by Boo Knits
Yarn: Quince and Co.'s wispy, silky, laceweight Piper in the Longhorn colourway.
Model: a most patient Héloïse.

I cannot even begin to show my gratitude to you all for your kindness and supportive comments these past weeks.  Your wise words and virtual hugs have made an unbearable situation almost bearable.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Stephanie x 

Sunday, 19 April 2015


Dear friends,

There will be few words again today.  The betrayal, malevolence and contempt I have been subjected to in my home since the early weeks of this year have made creative thinking almost impossible for the time being.  I hesitated before putting those words down but I know my situation, however painful and frightening, is sadly a common one.  True friends and family -and perhaps too an inner strength - have saved me from floundering and have reminded me on an almost daily basis that there is light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.   I have trained myself to focus solely on love, light and goodness and to turn away from all demeaning thoughts and to remain steadfast in my relationship with those I hold most dear.  There will be release from this intensely stressful time at the end of this month although I realise other challenges lie ahead.  Whilst I am a sensitive and anxious woman I also remain a fighter.

I took the pictures below of Héloïse (who turns nineteen at the end of April) a few weeks ago under a steady drizzle.  We chose this beautiful, rich colourway, Venetian, by Madelinetosh for her latest pullover; a pattern by Tin Can Knits called Prairie Fire: some of you might remember this version I made for Angélique last autumn? I look back on the hour spent here with her under the rain, surrounded by damp, blossoming trees with a quiet sense of joy and gratitude.  Héloïse has been a steadfast source of kindness throughout these times.  The least she deserves is a handknit pullover!
And here is Héloïse in her very first minor television role in a French series most fittingly cast as an angel!
 Warmest wishes to you all.  I hope your spring is both peaceful and enjoyable.
Stephanie x

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